A funny (not "ha ha") thing happened on our group ride today....
 

Here's a nifty little story with a moral:

So we had a nice group ride planned today. Posted it (as usual) on the local board. Went to the appointed meet spot, where a few people were already waiting. Noticed a new face/bike in the crowd... asked around, no one knew him. Seemed... .well... a bit sketchy, but :shrug: (I think it was the Italian Pimp Shoes, and the ticky-tacky paint job, but I digress).

I asked him how he learned about the ride. He said he was at Cycle Gear, and someone mentioned to him there was a group of people meeting for a ride, and told him when/where to go. Hmm, okay... well, we'll give him a chance. We're cautious, but not total snobs. :lol:

We have a pre-ride meeting, go over hand signals, staggered riding formation, etc... (we had a couple other new faces with us today, some friends of friends kinda thing). We capped off the pre-ride meeting with "In short, just don't ride like an asshole, ok?"

We head out, on a big 4 lane divided parkway, and just in the first couple of miles, Mr. Pimp Shoes is... well.. riding like an asshole. A MAJOR asshole. Just completely unsafe, and no regard for anyone else around him. I'm way back in the herd (near PhiSig) and we're both shaking our heads goin' "Uh uh...." I've already got it in my head I'm going to tell this guy to head out, that he can't ride with us (something we've never, ever done before on a group ride). But then lo and behold, we come to an intersection, and he darts out of the group, cuts off some traffic and leaves. YAYYYYYYYYY!!! (we literally clapped in excitement).

We head up the highway a bit, then stop to meet up with another group of friends for the ride. As we're standing there, telling our friends about this asshat that we 'lost,' here he comes, zipping into the gas station. :panic: Oh no, no fucking way. We discuss it briefly, and decide we're just going to tell him I'm sorry, you can't ride with us.

I volunteer to be the asshole (it's a role I play quite well), and I go tell him just that -- Hey, we've decided as a group that you can't ride with us, you're unsafe, and you're a danger to the whole group. He starts to say something about his two other friends (both in Italian Pimp Shoes as well) that have come to meet him, but I stopped him and just said "There's no buts... you're not riding with us. Thank you." And I walked away.

I kinda felt like a major bitch, for about 2 minutes, until he and his friends SCREAMED outta the gas station (Asshat #1 literally coming within inches of hitting a car head on), revving up their bikes, and making a scene as they left. It was almost like a little temper tantrum on two wheels. :lol:

About 10 minutes later, we head out and get on the road. We're on a 2 lane road, surrounded largely by water, with some gentle sweeping curves, but nothing super sharp or technical. We're in a straightaway, and we see two bikes parked in the grass on the right hand side... and the shoulder is littered with pieces of red plastic. Hmm.. .then on the left we see the three guys walking along the opposite shoulder, and Asshat #1's bike parked (front end completely a mess) in the grass. No other vehicles were around, but the rider was up and walking around, seemingly unhurt.

Around the next bend, we get stopped for a drawbridge, so we all park. Everyone was kinda shaking their heads, laughing at the irony of it (thinking this guy probably went spouting off to his friends "These guys say I'm unsafe... they won't let me ride with them. Dude, I'm not unsafe!!"... and then this happens).

All I can say is, I'm glad we made the decision to not allow him to ride with us, because with the size of group we had today, the end result could have been much worse if he continued to ride like an asshole, and caused other riders to go down as well.

I still say that the gene pool needs some freaking clorox.

I've told people I wouldn't ride with them before... I've also left those asshats in the twisties... the latter was much more satisfying.

Good story. There were times I wished we had asked someone not to come with us.

We had a guy show up with us. Jeans, tennis shoes, mechanics gloves, mesh jacket, $600 Race Replica Helmet, every body panel with a scratch, crack, or chip, and held on with zip ties. He was a guy who had frequented a local board, so we knew OF him, but none of us had ridden with him.

He overcooked a turn and stuffed it into the ditch.

5 minutes of feeling bad for telling someone they shouldn't come with your group beats the 1.5 hours wasted pulling everything together and waiting for his ride to show up.

Very good point.

(incidentally, one of our riders had to take off while we were waiting for the draw bridge to come down... he reported back that he went by the crash site, and Asshat #1 was riding 2-up with one of his buddies, and gave him the thumbsup, so he gathered the guy is indeed alright).

Neebs and I called it at about the exact same moment. I saw him pulling into the meet up, revving his bike (which had straight pipes that looked like they came from home depot!) and generally looking like an asshat. He had the worst spray-paint job I think I've ever seen on a bike, down to the motor. He just looked unsafe, and I mentioned it to her and she agreed. We went past the wreck sight slow enough to see that he was up and waling around ok and you could see about half the riders in our group start laughing. The tail and nose of his bike was pretty fucked, I think he tried to wheelie, lost it, ran off and cartwheeled.

With the exception of the shitty gear (and horrible riding skills) that kinda sounds like me! :lol:

I would have jumped the draw bridge to show you guys how awesome I was in hopes you'd let me ride with you again.

Now a bike all jacked up because it's a track whore, you'll hear nothing from me.

This was not THAT guy.



I tend to be a bit of a gear Nazi as well.

:dvrofl:

Had I been on the 'tard, it would have happened.

:lol: Yeah, that's my bike, she's my track-whore. So am I, it's a match made in heaven.