Two Wheel Fix - help with tranny

NO NOT TRANSMISSION, REAL FUCKIN TRANSSEXUAL!!!!

yesterday im punching out and a coworker says 'hey man i think there is a woman in the men's room. i saw high heels in the stall'
he is all laughing and shit.

so i made a pit-stop on my way out.

one stall is closed. two MASSIVE black shaved calves with a 3' spread descend from the bottom of the door. they are neatly packed into what looks like boat shoes / loafers from the front. It makes no sound like a stealthy hippopotamus ninja as i piss and listen. perhaps it was frightened by me or the loud and short statured janitor that walked in right after...
as i walk over to the sink to wash off pig-flu, i see the back of the shoes had 5" long heels, about 2" thick. presumably, the thickness is to support the massive tonnage above.
at this point i am thinking to myself, ok a few possible options here:

1) beast had the shit cramps so bad that she did not care what bathroom she went into and dropped bombs over baghdad. when you gotta go, you gotta go.
2)beast would have been scared of ridicule by her female coworkers for the unearthly horrors she would soon unleash upon the land, with the woman's room being ground zero. so the men would bare the brunt of her attack. woman and children first.
3)there are some handicapped people working here. perhaps beast is blind / near blind and just started working here. which would explain not knowing the location of the correct bathroom, not seeing the markings on the bathroom door, and of course not seeing the 4 urinals on the wall, on the treck towards the final resting place.
4) and least likely. beast is pre-op.

i leave work.
i return to work to confirm with original coworker of my findings. he assures me, "oh yea man, its a tranny! pre-op! it works night shifts".
:panic: