Quote:
Originally Posted by cbrchick
And the histories are the best. Especially when they go straight through triage b/c our paramedics can't keep a straight face. I love some of the notes they make, very creative.
The guy with the juicer thingy stuck up his bum had it for a couple days. When I got him to change and I told him what to expect, he asked me a simple question.... "where should I put my wallet?" when he changed in to his johnny shirt. I replied, "Where I know where you shouldn't put it. Don't shove it up your A$$". I couldn't help myself and we both laughed.....
I've seen batteries, nails, coins, staples swallowed. Pop bottles stuck on the end of men's birds that need cutting off with ring cutters (one Dr. turned it into a "teaching" case  and a whole lotta tugging from the nurses end. I've seen glass dildo's that have broken apart and needed surgery. Vibrators/Dildo's that were stuck - they get up past the pelvic bones and are hard to retrieve on one's own.
When objects are confiscated from various peeps hiding places, we usually keep them for a couple days in our dirty utility room for one another's viewing pleasure. The Xrays are great b/c we don't have to throw those away. The best is when it's kinda quiet and people start recanting stories over the years. It's crazy what people will do and the excuses they give. "I just slipped in the shower" is quite common apparently.
Kirsty |
One I had a few years back was a LARGE vaginal hematoma. I saw the girl walk into triage and looke dlike she had the PID shuffle. I figured ok easy enough, quick pelvic shot of rocephin and a script for doxy and were good. Boy was I wrong.
I bring her in and she tells me she has a large lump down there, I figure ok prolly a bartholins cyst, still easy but a little smelly. I have her change and set her up on the table, shes got this big purple lump on one side. my exact words were holy shit how did you do that. She tells me she was sweeping the floor and fell on the broom handle (at 4am on a fri night I seriously doubt it) I grilled her for a bit on what realy happened and she wouldnt budge. I dont think it was any sortof rape or anything since she seemed too relaxed for that, prolly some sort of sex thing gone awry.
I page our crack gyn staff (thats loaded with sarcasm) I tell the resident, he says just ice it and let her go home. I tell him I called you for a consult, not what should I do so come evaluate the pt. jackass comes down all in a huff, and tries to stand by his original comments. So I tell him we will see what your attending says. Safe to say she was admitted and I think it was drained in the OR.
Tom