Two Wheel Fix - View Single Post

CasterTroy · 09-29-2010, 09:53 AM

2011 Lincoln Towncar:

I will add more later, but this is what I've gathered in the 4 mile drive from the rental place to my office this AM

Interior:

Front Seat: HUGE.....you could breakdance or gut a full grown whale in the front seat. VERY comfy, lot's of adjustments, but everything is SO far away. Once the seat and pedals are adjusted, you feel like you could make a sandwich and eat it in the time it took you to hit the dash after a front end collision.

Rear seat: HUGE...enough legroom to seat Shaq and 4 other NBA players without ever touching knees.
Will likely test out the coital capabilities of the rear seat at some point this week.

Interior seems well put together, and no cheap buttons by playschool like the lower model Chevrolet models. Everything is very neat and clean lines. What's BAD is the placement of those buttons. Like the seat adjust. It's WAY up on the front part of the door....and not angled slightly so you can see the wording. It's just FLAT. Most japanese or german cars would angle that so you could see it better. And the dash....they cleaned up the button sizes and made them look modern, but they're just placed on the dash. Aslmost like they had this nice big flat plane canvas and cut out paper copies of the buttons and glued them on the dash somewhere until it kinda LOOKED good.

Needless to say the ergo's of the car just don't work. It's not a cockpit by any means....it's a Lazy-boy with a roll up dinner tray placed in front of you.

Exterior:

Friggin HUGE. This is a big ass car! No wonder the old folks take up 2 spaces at the Bojangles in the morning. I can't park this boat anywhere a normal car can park....and turning it takes plenty of pre-determination of where that nose will be mid-turn

Power

Don't pull out in front of anything!! This is not packing any kind of motor that was ever even shown a red bull or any sugar...no energy whatsoever but it FEELS like it would do 120 for the extent of the fuel range with no effort though

Comfort

Am I even driving a car? Holy crap this thing is so smooth and plush....I wanna take a NAP not drive anywhere.

Handling

Ever see Uncle buck?

TOTAL disconnect with the road. I mean literally disconnected. No bumps, no feel, nothing like what you get in a modern car. I truly feel liek I'm driving my grandfathers 69 caddy withOUT the benefit of the 500c.i. 8.2 liter V8 or the fadora with the feather in it.

The reason I'm driving a rental in the first place.....well......long story....so stop now if you just wanted to know about the rental car

Since the wifes new little toy came along the 5-series has been staying outside of the garage. For the first time in 11 years.

Sunday was the first day/night we've had steady rain in a month, and also since the 5-series has been in the rain all day and overnight.

About 12am the alarm goes off......I disarm the alarm, cut on the floodlights and come out of the garage in my underware with my pistol......my neighbor (a shell-shocked Vietnam vet) also emerges from his home with a weapon…..his favorite….the AR he brought back from ‘Nam

So here we are, in my HOA handcuffed neighborhood, two redneck-rooted hillbilly’s in the rain, out in the driveway brandishing weapons ready to kill some thieves

We chalk it up to someone trying their luck on the door and both go back inside.

About 30 minutes later it happens again. So I disarm the alarm and figure the rain running down the windows has activated the motion sensor, and I just leave the car unlocked.

No more issues.

Until 5am this morning when I go to take the kids to the bus stop.

I open the door and no interior light. Fearing the battery was dead from all the activity I get in and start the car. Starts fine, but no interior light. So as I’m in the car I close the door and the drivers, rear window goes down??!?! OK so I may have hit the switch. I repeat and the same happens. Every time I open the driver’s door the rear window goes down. And despite hitting the up button, it goes right back down.

After a few minutes of this I lock the windows and it stops.

Well as I’m sitting in the car as it’s running with all the doors closed, the interior light comes on and the driver door indicator comes on the dash?!? The door is closed?!?! (I later conclude this was what made the alarm go off, the door indicator thinking it was opened)

Then the radio cuts off completely and will not turn back on. AC compressor shuts down and the turn signals won't work

I’ve got to get the kids to the bus stop so I tell them to come on and we leave.

Going down the road the door indicator and interior lights keep coming on and off randomly.

It looks as if I’m driving along with my own strobe light disco studio going…..and all the while the wipers MAY or may not decide to work…and even on the lowest setting, they decide to SOMETIMES run on high, low or not at all.

Then later when I turn off the wipers……and then decide to turn them on. Every time I flip the lever up, the interior light and door indicator come on at the same time. Then about 1/2 way to work the wipers lock mid stroke......no matter what I do. So I cut them off. Right before I get to work they decide to now work on HIGH....with the switch off

So at lunch I decide to head to Advance Auto to check the battery and the charging system. My buddy Scott was with me and he verfiied the reading on the meter the guy was using since he's got more expereince and knowledge with electrical systems.

Also he disconnected the neg, and jumped the battery to "reset" the computer after he called the BMW service tech at the local dealership. He said most of the time that "reset" would fix small issues. But this is apprently not a small issue.

After I had the battery checked, my buddy and I headed to K&W Cafeteria for some lunch. Then afterwards we come out and look across the parking lot at my car, and saw the wipers on high going all by themselves with me standing there with the key in my hand.

That was just TOO freaky...so I just had Scott follow me to Motorsports connection and dropped the demon-car off. I mean...if the wipers are running full tilt without the key...who knows what ELSE is running?!?!?

After about 4 hours they determine the sunroof drain was stopped up at the bottom somewhere and flooded the dash shorting out the body module (controls all the functions that went haywire) and the lighting module. SO now it's an insurance claim

So after talking to insurance I find out we have a rental car policy and I get a car. We go there this AM to pick up a car, and they want to give me a Kia

I told the guy "no offense man, but I'm just not too keen on going from a BMW to a Kia"

Granted..I'm not an elitist bastard, and in no way am I too GOOD for a Kia....but hey if you're gonna go, go BIG right?

He then says that I have the option for a ford edge or a lincoln towncar, but you have to ask for the towncar..they don't just OFFER it....SOOOO

09-29-2010, 09:53 AM	#117
CasterTroy ................ Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: NC Posts: 3,028	2011 Lincoln Towncar: I will add more later, but this is what I've gathered in the 4 mile drive from the rental place to my office this AM Interior: Front Seat: HUGE.....you could breakdance or gut a full grown whale in the front seat. VERY comfy, lot's of adjustments, but everything is SO far away. Once the seat and pedals are adjusted, you feel like you could make a sandwich and eat it in the time it took you to hit the dash after a front end collision. Rear seat: HUGE...enough legroom to seat Shaq and 4 other NBA players without ever touching knees. Will likely test out the coital capabilities of the rear seat at some point this week. Interior seems well put together, and no cheap buttons by playschool like the lower model Chevrolet models. Everything is very neat and clean lines. What's BAD is the placement of those buttons. Like the seat adjust. It's WAY up on the front part of the door....and not angled slightly so you can see the wording. It's just FLAT. Most japanese or german cars would angle that so you could see it better. And the dash....they cleaned up the button sizes and made them look modern, but they're just placed on the dash. Aslmost like they had this nice big flat plane canvas and cut out paper copies of the buttons and glued them on the dash somewhere until it kinda LOOKED good. Needless to say the ergo's of the car just don't work. It's not a cockpit by any means....it's a Lazy-boy with a roll up dinner tray placed in front of you. Exterior: Friggin HUGE. This is a big ass car! No wonder the old folks take up 2 spaces at the Bojangles in the morning. I can't park this boat anywhere a normal car can park....and turning it takes plenty of pre-determination of where that nose will be mid-turn Power Don't pull out in front of anything!! This is not packing any kind of motor that was ever even shown a red bull or any sugar...no energy whatsoever but it FEELS like it would do 120 for the extent of the fuel range with no effort though Comfort Am I even driving a car? Holy crap this thing is so smooth and plush....I wanna take a NAP not drive anywhere. Handling Ever see Uncle buck? TOTAL disconnect with the road. I mean literally disconnected. No bumps, no feel, nothing like what you get in a modern car. I truly feel liek I'm driving my grandfathers 69 caddy withOUT the benefit of the 500c.i. 8.2 liter V8 or the fadora with the feather in it. The reason I'm driving a rental in the first place.....well......long story....so stop now if you just wanted to know about the rental car Since the wifes new little toy came along the 5-series has been staying outside of the garage. For the first time in 11 years. Sunday was the first day/night we've had steady rain in a month, and also since the 5-series has been in the rain all day and overnight. About 12am the alarm goes off......I disarm the alarm, cut on the floodlights and come out of the garage in my underware with my pistol......my neighbor (a shell-shocked Vietnam vet) also emerges from his home with a weapon…..his favorite….the AR he brought back from ‘Nam So here we are, in my HOA handcuffed neighborhood, two redneck-rooted hillbilly’s in the rain, out in the driveway brandishing weapons ready to kill some thieves We chalk it up to someone trying their luck on the door and both go back inside. About 30 minutes later it happens again. So I disarm the alarm and figure the rain running down the windows has activated the motion sensor, and I just leave the car unlocked. No more issues. Until 5am this morning when I go to take the kids to the bus stop. I open the door and no interior light. Fearing the battery was dead from all the activity I get in and start the car. Starts fine, but no interior light. So as I’m in the car I close the door and the drivers, rear window goes down??!?! OK so I may have hit the switch. I repeat and the same happens. Every time I open the driver’s door the rear window goes down. And despite hitting the up button, it goes right back down. After a few minutes of this I lock the windows and it stops. Well as I’m sitting in the car as it’s running with all the doors closed, the interior light comes on and the driver door indicator comes on the dash?!? The door is closed?!?! (I later conclude this was what made the alarm go off, the door indicator thinking it was opened) Then the radio cuts off completely and will not turn back on. AC compressor shuts down and the turn signals won't work I’ve got to get the kids to the bus stop so I tell them to come on and we leave. Going down the road the door indicator and interior lights keep coming on and off randomly. It looks as if I’m driving along with my own strobe light disco studio going…..and all the while the wipers MAY or may not decide to work…and even on the lowest setting, they decide to SOMETIMES run on high, low or not at all. Then later when I turn off the wipers……and then decide to turn them on. Every time I flip the lever up, the interior light and door indicator come on at the same time. Then about 1/2 way to work the wipers lock mid stroke......no matter what I do. So I cut them off. Right before I get to work they decide to now work on HIGH....with the switch off So at lunch I decide to head to Advance Auto to check the battery and the charging system. My buddy Scott was with me and he verfiied the reading on the meter the guy was using since he's got more expereince and knowledge with electrical systems. Also he disconnected the neg, and jumped the battery to "reset" the computer after he called the BMW service tech at the local dealership. He said most of the time that "reset" would fix small issues. But this is apprently not a small issue. After I had the battery checked, my buddy and I headed to K&W Cafeteria for some lunch. Then afterwards we come out and look across the parking lot at my car, and saw the wipers on high going all by themselves with me standing there with the key in my hand. That was just TOO freaky...so I just had Scott follow me to Motorsports connection and dropped the demon-car off. I mean...if the wipers are running full tilt without the key...who knows what ELSE is running?!?!? After about 4 hours they determine the sunroof drain was stopped up at the bottom somewhere and flooded the dash shorting out the body module (controls all the functions that went haywire) and the lighting module. SO now it's an insurance claim So after talking to insurance I find out we have a rental car policy and I get a car. We go there this AM to pick up a car, and they want to give me a Kia I told the guy "no offense man, but I'm just not too keen on going from a BMW to a Kia" Granted..I'm not an elitist bastard, and in no way am I too GOOD for a Kia....but hey if you're gonna go, go BIG right? He then says that I have the option for a ford edge or a lincoln towncar, but you have to ask for the towncar..they don't just OFFER it....SOOOO __________________ “Being tolerant does not mean that I share another one’s belief. But it does mean that I acknowledge another one’s right to believe, and obey, his own conscience.” Viktor Frankl Last edited by CasterTroy; 09-29-2010 at 01:49 PM..