[PiZdETS]

Acting My Age
One of my neighbors recently took note of the fact that I ride sportbikes, and asked me "Don't you think you are getting a little old for that?"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"You know" he replied, "sport bikes; crotch rockets. Don't you think a man your age ought to be riding a Harley, or mebbe a Gold wing, or something?"

Well, I was stunned. I've had dirt bikes, sport bikes, race bikes, touring bikes, old bikes, new bikes and just about anything else in between, and each one has filled a percieved "need" at the time; but I've never given much thought as to what a man of my age "ought" to be riding. Which led to me thinking about the choices in mounts I've made, and why, and the type of riding I enjoy and why.

Believe it or not, I don't sit around pondering my navel every day, seeking the answers to deep questions. It's just that, when somebody questions my behavior, I'll often find myself shaking my head while waiting for the traffic light to turn, or catch myself staring out the window for a couple of minutes, feeling a vague sense of unease untill I've had adaquate time to "mull over" the question, and either conclude that I need to change something, or that the basic premise of the inquiry was wrong and the questioner was full of horse hocky.

With the exception of a couple years of club racing a clapped out X-6 up at Brainerd, most of my initial 10 years of riding was spent in the saddle of "practical" bikes...UJM's more noted for their low cost of ownership and steadfast reliablity, than for the tendancy to get your blood to boil. I lusted after Guzzi Lemans', 900SS Ducs, and JPL Nortons, but my limited financial means, along with a deep sense of Minnesotan Practicality dictated bikes with a lot less financial burden, if less than stellar personality. My last bike of this period was a Windjammered Suzuki GS650G with shaft drive...the epitome of competent Japanese engineering, and the poster boy for UJM Boring.

A couple of major "life changing" upheavals occured at that time, of which I won't bore you with the details. But they did have the effect of tearing away the basic financial, familial, and spiritual roots of who I was. I had pretty much lost everything I had at that time, and began the laborious process of rebuilding my life. One of the things I did was go into debt for the most impractical of bikes I'd ever seen...a '82 Yamaha Turbo Seca; at that time, one of the most radical, nasty, snarliest bikes ever built by the Japanese Big Four. Skinny little 4.50/18 rear coupled to an honest to god 100 RWHP four cylinder 18psi turbocharged rocketship (for it's time) of a 90 ft/lb torque monster of an engine.It had zilch below 6 grand and a torque curve that looked like a siloutte of the Devil's Tower......nothing, then straight up, flat, then straight down. Made for interesting corner exits.

Since then, I've pretty much run the gamut of, if not hot blooded, then at least moderately tepid sport bikes (twelve of 'em in the last 5 years, including but not limited to: a Triumph 955i, a Duc, a 929rr and culminating with the latest aquisition, a Bimota DB4 (what my neighbor saw that started this whole missive).

I still look in the mirror in the morning a shake my head, wondering what happened to the last 30 years. I seems like I was young just a finger snap ago, and here I am, well into my fifties........

But, after careful rumination, I've decided that my questioner's original premise: that a "man of my age" should ride something "more appropriate" is of the aforementioned horse-hockey classification. It is only now, after years of careful planning and wheeling and dealing, that I can both afford, and APPRECIATE this type of machinery and the outstanding feedback, agility and security, not to mention that I feel that these bikes are some of the most beautiful pieces of rolling art the world has ever seen.

A few years ago I suffered through a long a painful period of physical disablity, and thankfully, I'm in fairly decent shape today. I don't know what tomorrow shall bring, but today I will ride that which I am able; and today I am able to ride some of the very best, most exciting hardware available, so I shall, and screw what the neighbors think.
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Olde Dog, New Tricks
I sat on my work stool out on my garage the other night, nursing a cup of hot tea while I reveled in the fact that it was late evening on the last day of November, and it was a balmy 73 degrees. I wasn't out riding because I had a bugger of a sinus infection and was on some antibiotics and heavy duty prescription decongestants which all kept me from feeling a hundred percent; better to putz around getting the bike ready for storage and ready for the next warmup than to push my luck and end up chasing down parts over the winter. Nothing worse than ending the season with a crash.

So I spent most of the evening putting a permanent pigtail on the battery for my battery tender, draining carb bowls and changing the oil and cleaning the various screens and filters that the elves in the Ducati design center deemed necessary to keep my aluminum lump of rolling sculpture running for another season.

I figured as long as I was out here, I'd finish pulling al the plastics and clean, rub and remove as much roadgrime and schmutz as I could . (I should get a set of those "Pimpstix", but I've used pipecleaners and cotton swabs since before the invention of fire; and besides, I'm cheap). Doing this kind of stuff gives me a warm sense of accomplishment, under which I like to sit back and wax poetic.

After buttoning things back up, I sat back to admire the work of those craftsmen in Italy: The little Bimota sat on it's rear stand, looking for all the world like some feral animal, poised to strike. Off in the distance, I could hear a I-4 sportbiker do a series of well-executed high-speed upshifts; the motor wailing away in the upper RPM band, smoothly flowing from one gear to the next. Which got me thinking about what I'd like to add and subtract to my bike over the winter; what shiny bits of exotic metal or carbon fiber art would add to both the visual, aural, and riding experience.

Which is a big change for me. Seems the older I get, the more willing I am to experiment a bit.

When I first started riding, and for many years after, I would have nothing but a stock bike (unless I was racing). The limits of mods I made were of the functional type; a luggage rack, windscreen or Windjammer, maybe a set of aftermarket grips was about the depth of my adventurism. No engine or breathing mods, Oh, No!

Part of it was the times: A LOT of aftermarket stuff was just junk, and the good stuff wasn't all that good. Four strokes had their choice of one or two reputable pipe builders, like Kerker for the Jap crowd (loud, with a sharp bark) or Continental (louder, booming roar) for the European crowd; and if you favored two-strokes as I did, all the expansion chambers available were sure to have the neighbors dialing 911 as soon as you pulled out of the driveway. Not to mention the tedious process of getting the carbs dialed in for that new pipe....

The other part was, that I did A LOT of riding all over the country, and so, I met A LOT of bikers broken down on the side of the road. And invariably, that which caused their mounts to fail, was (usually) a poorly conceived, or poorly produced, or poorly installed aftermarket something. I, on the other hand, had been fortunate to ride many tens of thousands of miles (over 100K in my first 5 years of riding) with nary a hiccup (not counting a couple of flat tires). I thought I saw a certain correllation, so I stayed away from modifications.

And I stayed that way 'till just a couple of years ago, when I picked up a pristine, low milage Ducati ST2 for a pittance. Even though it had a bunch of aftermarket go-fast stuff (Carbon pipes, high perf chip, Yoyodyne clutch, high perf brakes, plus some comfort items). I figured that for the price, if this stuff wasn't good, I could convert back to stock and stilll make out.

Turned out that those items added to the pleasure of riding that bike, and since then, I've had a parade of bikes with stuff on 'em with labels from the likes of Yoshimura, Corse, M4, and Traxxion Dynamics.

And I find myself looking at catalogs for 944 kits, light weight flywheels, and laser-carved clutch baskets with matching anodized ventilated covers...Oh, MY!