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-   -   dumb people with jobs (http://www.twowheelfix.com/showthread.php?t=12906)

HurricaneHeather 01-25-2010 02:05 PM

dumb people with jobs
 
Okay, not all of them get jobs. But a frighteningly large number of these people get hired. I am probably so not supposed to this, but it's friggin funny!

Here are a few samples of their previous job history(all copied and pasted directly from their applications, no editing on my part):

Position Title: car-hop
Employer: Sonic drive In
Summary of experience: I worked for sonic off and on through out high school and in the end I knew how to car hop do drive thur and make drinks


--

Summary of experience: I was a volunteer for the first grade class on bibel study.
Specific reason for leaving: Politics in the church became unberabel


--

Position Title: HOME HEALTH AIDE
Specific reason for leaving: CLIENTS DIED
:eek: :lmao:

--

Position Title: sorter and mech.pricer
Employer: Good-will
Summary of experience: ... I really loved my boss she was the greates ever.


--

Summary of experience: i cook,bath,give meds, and suervise 4 consumers that have disabilities. so they are in a group home

--

Summary of experience: Helped a lay pipe

Good times. Maybe more to come after lunch.

CrazyKell 01-25-2010 02:11 PM

What kind of jobs are they getting? :scratch:

At least we know why the pipe layer is getting hired. ;)

Ninjakel 01-25-2010 02:12 PM

wow. really???

Do these people not use spell check???

I'd be so embarrassed, even to read those resumes.

marko138 01-25-2010 02:13 PM

It used to be that these kind of mistakes on resumes would land them directly in the trash can. Now, companies hire these fucks because they can do it on the cheap.

Rider 01-25-2010 02:25 PM

Lets see their education section. Dumb fuckers barely know how to write at a 5th grade level.

HurricaneHeather 01-25-2010 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyKell (Post 324661)
What kind of jobs are they getting? :scratch:

At least we know why the pipe layer is getting hired. ;)

These are all for a Custodian position. I think it pays 1474 a month.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ninjakel (Post 324663)
wow. really???

Do these people not use spell check???

I'd be so embarrassed, even to read those resumes.

These are just ones that know how to use a computer to apply. You should see the ones who have to bring in hand written apps because they don't know how to use a computer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by marko138 (Post 324664)
It used to be that these kind of mistakes on resumes would land them directly in the trash can. Now, companies hire these fucks because they can do it on the cheap.

It's hard to this throat clearing thing over text, but these are GOVT jobs. :wink:

Also, this is in a teeny tiny town out in BFE where the only other employer within 3 counties is Wal-Mart.

the chi 01-25-2010 02:48 PM

Dayum, janitors get paid out there! They make more than I do at my desk job!

marko138 01-25-2010 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Chi (Post 324692)
Dayum, janitors get paid out there! They make more than I do at my desk job!

Thats like 17k a year.

t-homo 01-25-2010 02:54 PM

i loled at the health care aide one.

the chi 01-25-2010 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marko138 (Post 324695)
Thats like 17k a year.

And sadly I am a well paid City Clerk.

Some people dont utilize the tools out there to better themselves. Many local agencies will help folks learn to do this stuff for free.

HurricaneHeather 01-25-2010 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by t-rock (Post 324696)
i loled at the health care aide one.

Me too....I've seen some pretty awesome crap on applications, but that one is my current favorite. :rofl:

Papa_Complex 01-25-2010 03:36 PM

When I was vetting apps I never got the funny ones. All that I got, were the ones that were obviously prepared by some professional service rather than the prospective employee. I gots no fun :(

Tsunami 01-25-2010 03:59 PM

That's how people write in my college courses and they are trying to get into the medical field.

Heather keep cutting and pasting!

HurricaneHeather 01-25-2010 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tsunami (Post 324724)
That's how people write in my college courses and they are trying to get into the medical field.

Heather keep cutting and pasting!

:lol:

I was looking for some more good ones in the Food Service job posting, but they are mostly all the same people as on the Custodian posting.

If I come across some good ones, I'll be sure to share with the class. :wink:

skiergirl 01-25-2010 04:14 PM

I should sue you for posting info from my resume! I thought you were my friend...:(

I said the bitch died, I didn't say I killed her did I...WTF!

Rider 01-25-2010 04:16 PM

Dumb people with jobs.
 
http://monterrey.usconsulate.gov/upl...rack_Obama.jpg

marko138 01-25-2010 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rider (Post 324733)

I'm not sure how you can argue that he's dumb. Maybe you don't like his policy or politics or even him as an individual, but he's far from dumb.

HurricaneHeather 01-25-2010 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skiergirl (Post 324732)
I should sue you for posting info from my resume! I thought you were my friend...:(

I said the bitch died, I didn't say I killed her did I...WTF!

:lmao:

goof2 01-25-2010 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HurricaneHeather (Post 324680)
These are all for a Custodian position. I think it pays 1474 a month.

Pay peanuts and you are generally going to attract monkeys.

marko138 01-25-2010 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goof2 (Post 324738)
Pay peanuts and you are generally going to attract monkeys.

Well said.

Rider 01-25-2010 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marko138 (Post 324736)
I'm not sure how you can argue that he's dumb. Maybe you don't like his policy or politics or even him as an individual, but he's far from dumb.

I know, I'm just joking... Pushing buttons, you know the drill.

Homeslice 01-25-2010 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HurricaneHeather (Post 324658)
Position Title: car-hop
Employer: Sonic drive In
Summary of experience: I worked for sonic off and on through out high school and in the end I knew how to car hop do drive thur and make drinks

One would hope you knew how to car-hop, given that that was your position title. :scratch:

Dumb-phuck hick.

marko138 01-25-2010 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homeslice (Post 324746)
One would hope you knew how to car-hop, given that that was your position title. :scratch:

Dumb-phuck hick.

Speaking of that...a Sonic just opened up around here. I need to try it.

Homeslice 01-25-2010 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marko138 (Post 324749)
Speaking of that...a Sonic just opened up around here. I need to try it.

Overrated IMO. Do you guys still have Steak n Shakes over there? Or Rax? They were the shiznit. As was Elias Brothers Big Boy with their Brawny Lad burger.

marko138 01-25-2010 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homeslice (Post 324750)
Overrated IMO. Do you guys still have Steak n Shakes over there? Or Rax? They were the shiznit. As was Elias Brothers Big Boy with their Brawny Lad burger.

Never been to a Steak N Shake. We used to have Raxx...but it's been years and years since I've seen one around. There's still a Roy Rogers on the PA Turnpike near Philly.

HurricaneHeather 01-25-2010 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marko138 (Post 324749)
Speaking of that...a Sonic just opened up around here. I need to try it.

No Sonic up there? It's really just a fast food place...nothing special.

marko138 01-25-2010 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HurricaneHeather (Post 324755)
No Sonic up there? It's really just a fast food place...nothing special.

Their commercials always make their stuff look good. I'll at least give it a shot once.

HurricaneHeather 01-25-2010 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marko138 (Post 324757)
Their commercials always make their stuff look good. I'll at least give it a shot once.

Yeah, I gotcha. I like them because they have tots. I heart tots.

marko138 01-25-2010 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HurricaneHeather (Post 324758)
Yeah, I gotcha. I like them because they have tots. I heart tots.

Who doesn't? :lol:

t-homo 01-25-2010 05:11 PM

Sonic is alright. Better than most fast food.

Steak'n'shake is the shit.

EpyonXero 01-25-2010 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marko138 (Post 324757)
Their commercials always make their stuff look good. I'll at least give it a shot once.

Yeah. I saw the commercials for years before they built one in South Florida. After I tried it I was disappointed. Although the breakfast stuff is good.

HurricaneHeather 01-25-2010 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by t-rock (Post 324762)
Steak'n'shake is the shit.

Werd. mmmmm...chili.

t-homo 01-25-2010 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HurricaneHeather (Post 324765)
Werd. mmmmm...chili.

their melts, the chili cheese fries, chocolate shakes. fucking best. Damn, I might have to go get it for dinner.

Papa_Complex 01-25-2010 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marko138 (Post 324753)
Never been to a Steak N Shake. We used to have Raxx...but it's been years and years since I've seen one around. There's still a Roy Rogers on the PA Turnpike near Philly.

Was Raxx a pool hall/steakhouse that's the size of a supermarket? Got one here, in Brampton.

Amorok 01-25-2010 06:40 PM

Sonic chili cheese coneyFTW

azoomm 01-25-2010 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goof2 (Post 324738)
Pay peanuts and you are generally going to attract monkeys.

Why? Silly person, monkeys don't eat peanuts... :nee:

Sonic - Strawberry Limeaide mmmmmmmm

Homeslice 01-25-2010 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Papa_Complex (Post 324785)
Was Raxx a pool hall/steakhouse that's the size of a supermarket? Got one here, in Brampton.

Nope, it was like a dressed up Arbys (roast beef and shakes)

Captain Morgan 01-25-2010 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Papa_Complex (Post 324785)
Was Raxx a pool hall/steakhouse that's the size of a supermarket? Got one here, in Brampton.

No, it was Rax, with one x. And it was a roast beef fast food joint, like Arby's. I worked at one for my first job.

Papa_Complex 01-25-2010 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homeslice (Post 324805)
Nope, it was like a dressed up Arbys (roast beef and shakes)

Pity. The place here does a cheap Friday steak night and not only do they have pool tables, their servers mostly live up to the place's name.

goof2 01-25-2010 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by azoomm (Post 324802)
Why? Silly person, monkeys don't eat peanuts... :nee:

I didn't come up with the phrase, but it does lend itself to stronger imagery than "attract elephants".:wink:

was92v 01-25-2010 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Morgan (Post 324806)
No, it was Rax, with one x. And it was a roast beef fast food joint, like Arby's. I worked at one for my first job.

Worthless info in my head because I am old enough to remember that far back...

They were called Jax for a while at first. Then a lawyer explained that the name was taken...then they became Rax.
My brother-in-law worked at one at the time, about 1969 I think.

t-homo 01-25-2010 07:55 PM

That was 20 years before I was even born. redflip

Trip 01-25-2010 08:06 PM

Steak and shake is modest at best. I prefer Johnny Rockets.

t-homo 01-25-2010 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trip (Post 324822)
Steak and shake is modest at best. I prefer Johnny Rockets.

never heard of it.

Steak n shake is by no means gourmet, but for fast food, its pretty good.

jtemple 01-25-2010 08:45 PM

We had an applicant for an entry-level software developer gig put "Captain of the University Hackey-Sack Team" on his resume. He didn't get the job.

Rangerscott 01-26-2010 12:05 AM

http://shepparded.files.wordpress.co...ed_dumbass.jpg

t-homo 01-26-2010 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtemple (Post 324836)
We had an applicant for an entry-level software developer gig put "Captain of the University Hackey-Sack Team" on his resume. He didn't get the job.

Would it have been different had it been Basketball or Football team? lol

Homeslice 01-26-2010 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtemple (Post 324836)
We had an applicant for an entry-level software developer gig put "Captain of the University Hackey-Sack Team" on his resume. He didn't get the job.

He probably read an article in Wired magazine saying he should put something nutball on his resume in order to portray himself as creative and outside the box.

marko138 01-26-2010 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Papa_Complex (Post 324785)
Was Raxx a pool hall/steakhouse that's the size of a supermarket? Got one here, in Brampton.

What Homeslice said....just a dressed up Arby's. Man, I love Arby's.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trip (Post 324822)
Steak and shake is modest at best. I prefer Johnny Rockets.

Johnny Rocket is good. None around here though, gotta go to Balto, Philly, NJ.

jtemple 01-26-2010 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by t-rock (Post 324966)
Would it have been different had it been Basketball or Football team? lol

I don't know that it hurt his chances at getting the job. It didn't do anything to give him an edge above the other applicants though. So, it's a waste of space on a resume that should be kept as brief as possible.

marko138 01-27-2010 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by t-rock (Post 324966)
Would it have been different had it been Basketball or Football team? lol

Fuck yeah. Football/basketball Captain...there's atleast a possibility of some leadership with that. Hacky Sack...get fucked.


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