The Abruptness of Motherfu*king Life.
 

My wife works on Saturday so to celebrate my son Michael's first day of summer I took him golfing, as he'd been dying to use his new set of clubs. It was his first time on the course and he did great. Luckily I'm bad enough that he didn't even slow me down any, and had a few 50-75yd drives and sunk a 20ft putt after chipping to the green. We were on 15 and looking to finish all 18

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g8...aelgolfing.jpg

Its Texas, so by default it was hotter than that Tater guy's mother's pillow. But the birds were flying, the breeze was blowing and we had a full cooler of drinks and plenty of shade around.

On the fairway at 15 my cell phone rang, it was my "step-son" 's Dad. Short story is that when I was 19 and 3 weeks before my lil' brother was killed in a car wreck, I hooked up with a girl who had a baby boy named Jayden from an absent father. I was with her and him for the next 6 years and I raised Jayden as my own.

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g8...ris0604009.jpg

It didn't work out, I got out of town for a while and came back and resumed fatherly duties for Jayden. The ex found a good guy who is a good Dad to Jayden and cordial with me as well they married and had a baby boy, and I married as well. We get Jayden every other weekend and include him in all of our family activities and pictures and so forth.

So I answered the phone and he told me that they had been in a bad car wreck and Jayden and his lil' brother had been Careflighted to Children's. That was yesterday. Jayden has a fractured skull, eye socket, vertebrae and leg. He has not regained consciousness yet, though the Dr's are hopeful (as always I suppose.) His lil' 1.5 year old brother Greysen is critical and has brain damage, if he is not already brain dead.

Just like that. One minute we're watching a Hawk defend his nest from predators on the 11th hole, the next we're tearing ass to the hospital. Of course, its happened to us all, and happened to me a few times before as well...but the abruptness of it, the sudden change in everything is never something I get used to. Its like jumping into ice cold water. How do we tell a 10 year old boy his brother is all fucked up now when he wakes up?

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g8...denatcooks.jpg

Oh Josh. Oh no.

Damn.

I'm so sorry. Hug him. Love him. Cherish him. Y'all are in my thoughts.

Wow. I'm deeply sorry for your situation. As I well as pretty mich everyone on here can say we have all been there before when life just throws you a curveball from hell.

I wish him and the little one a healthy and painfree recovery.

Holy fuck man. Good juju for Jayden and Greysen both. I sincerely hope the best for them.

Soooo sorry for you and yours. I'll pass good thoughts your way.

Damn...

Not sure what to say other than you guys are in our thoughts and we are sending positive karma (or what ever you want to call it) your way

There's never anything you can really say man, I just wanted to write it all out like. Thanks for the words guys and gals.

You would be surprised what writing can do for you...I used to write about my feelings all the time. Sometimes it just helps you mentally handle the massive situation your dealing with.

I dont pray, but i hear it helps.

Wow man. Im sorry. Theres not much I can say, besides if you need to vent, shoot me a pm. What a horrible situation :(

Thats terrible, hope everything works out, my thoughts and prayers are with you

Ah that's fucked up.. I can't think of anything useful to say.. Just try not to let your bad thoughts get the best of you.

I'm getting choked up reading this and looking at the pics. So sorry to hear it. Best wishes his way.

Oh my God, I am so sorry! I don't know what your thoughts are about prayer,but if you do not mind I will be praying for the kids.

I've typed and deleted probably 30 or so responses because each didn't seem to hold a candle to what you must be feeling Josh. I hope they both pull through and they'll be in my thoughts as well. I'm so sorry.

As a parent, reading this... words simply cannot express. My thoughts and prayers go out to both of them in hopes of a full recovery.

Ditto....

Man I know exactly what you're saying.

I saw him an hour or so ago and got some good responses by telling him some stories and talking about some stuff he likes. They said nobody else has been able to get that type of response from him. I'm going back up at midnight to sit with him until 6 or 7, that way his parents can get a break and be with their other son....who is in very critical condition right now. The scariest thing I can think of is for him to wake up alone in the hospital terrified, so I wanna be there for him.

5 hour energy here I come baby.

Goddamn, so sorry to hear it. Good thoughts your way

Best of luck, Josh! You guys will be in my thoughts!

Prayers for all the family. I wish you peace, courage, and strength.

Josh, so sorry to hear of this. Life can change in an instant, and it's something I've become keenly aware of myself. Value every moment, and stay strong, and positive in your thoughts. Mine are with you, and those little guys.

OMG Man... I'm sorry about all that. Thoughts and prayers from me & mine to you & yours. I really can't say much more... just keep us up to date...

Josh, sending thoughts and prayers, brother.

Heartbreaking. Hang in there.

Spent the night bedside in ICU with Jayden from Midnight til now. Condition is the same. The right side of his head feels like jelly. He was restless and would open his eye once an hour or so, or when he had to cough. He did manage to roll over and grab me by the throat with his sharp lil' nails.

The Dr says he needs time to heal. A lil boy next to us died in the middle of the night, it was pretty rough. I'm going to sleep now to prepare for tonight.

Kane. I don't really know u but my heart breaks hearing abt what u r going thru. I can do nothing but pray for you and your family. It does sound like he's showing good signs towards pulling thru. Those types of reactions are good signs that he's fighting it. Super good I think.

I know what you are going through man. My sister was almost killed by a car when she was 6(I was 12) and my step brother was killed when he was 18(I was 26). Both of them were on bicycles. Hopefully he pulls through ok. The younger they are the better then can recover from a head injury so you have that on your side. Hang in there.

Wow.

I'm like prtcl, nothing I could say would come close enough to what I'd want to say.

My thoughts are with you and the boys.

Josh I'm so sorry, nothing is worse than when a child you love suffers. I'll prey for you, brother.

Sorry to hear that. I hope everyone makes a fast and full recovery. I went through this with my brother in law in January. Stay strong.

James

Im so sorry babe, if there's anything we can do, let us know. We'll keep them in our hearts, thoughts and prayers.

Wow sorry to hear. Hope the little guy pulls through ok and can get back to the way he was before the accident.

Tough on everyone involved I'm sure...man that sucks.

Sorry to hear this! Its so much worse when its a child because you just naturally feel the need to help them and sometimes you can't. I hope he's alright

very sorry to hear. it's always tough but especially when kids are involved.

Saying prayers.

this.

truly heart breaking!! :( :( I will say a prayer :(

Truly heart breaking. :( They're in my prayers buddy.

I'll be thinking of you and your family Josh. So sorry to hear this. Makes you realize how fragile life is.

Prayers sent.

Oh my gosh. I know nothing I can say will change things. I'm fighting tears writing this. Those poor little boys shouldn't have to endure such terrible things, and it's truly not fair. I've seen some pretty F*cked up things as a nurse, and if there's one thing I've learned is there is always hope in some of the darkest, scariest moments.

I'll be thinking about you all....

Kirsty

This is terrible, poor kid. Get well soon.

Couldn't sleep so I went back up there. He has a collapsed lung, though it does not appear to be heavily damaged. They put him on CPAP to try to reinflate it over the next few hours. He sat up in bed a couple of times, and though he's out of it, he seems pretty pissed off about the whole damn thing.

That kinda awesome that hes sitting up and somewhat aware of whats going on. What kind of meds is he on because that could do more to make him out of it than the actual injury

Best wishes for a full recovery

There is nothing I can say but I hope Jayden and his brother completely recover.

Wow, that is a serious hit to take from out of nowhere.
Here's hoping for the most complete recovery possible.

Finally got some good sleep today. Going back up at midnight for my "shift", haha. They are saying that me reading to him at night is good for him so to keep doing that and playing soft music for him via my iPhone.

I have to use my phone to drown out the sounds of the Children dying around him. =( I don't want him hearing all that.

That all sounds like good news of him coming out of it.

OMG...how awful! I will keep all of you in my thoughts. I hope all goes well...

One of the worst nights of my life. Came very close to losing Jayden. His lung eventually lost the battle to keep his blood saturated and he had to be intubated. Unfortunately they didn't listen to Dr. Kaneman when he told them repeatedly that was going to happen. They were able to get him intubated and he is stable again, though not breathing on his own just yet.

I told them repeatedly throughout the night they at least needed to have everything ready to intubate him as it was plain to see that he wasn't keeping up. His pulse and respirations rose steadily throughout the night and were much higher than they were last night. Had they at least had everything ready to go it wouldn't have been as close.

Crap :td:

What about the other little guy? Or did I miss that?

Ah man, that bites... His little body needs help to over come his injuries, a ventilator will give him that break....They might have to sedate him a little to endure the ET tube...(but you know all this already...) He'll def. be calmer with you at his side.

Thinking about you guys morning and night....

K.

Still praying for you guys and thank you for the updates, hope today goes better for everyone!

Sorry to hear about this josh, best wishes for your loved ones.

WOW... sometimes these hospitals just amaze me. Sorry about that man...

still praying...

You should expect bumps in the road. just know that you and him are stronger than this. <insert a faithfull aspect that I will spare everyone> Keep up your hopes and that you KNOW with all your heart that it will be a distant memory in a short time from now.

He's doing a bit better now, still on the ventilator, but they're lowering the respirations and feel that he will begin some breathing on his own soon. I'm about to leave here in 5 min for my midnight shift. I sit bedside and read to him til around 7 or 8, just in case he is aware....I don't want him to be lonely or scared.

Slow and steady improvements are good. I hope tonight is as quiet and uneventful as last night was.

Good deal man.

So you are a Doctor, for real? Speciality?

I don't want you to think "duh a-hole" when I tell you things like expect little bumps.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all :(

Still thinking about y'all here too... sending lots of good juju

Wow.....dude sorry to hear about your step son. Hope he heals soon.

glad that he is doing better, whats the status on his little brother, and other father figure?

Still very much in my thoughts, Josh. Let us know how it's going...

Nah, I was an EMT when I used the name "Psychomedic" over on CF, but my cert expired. The training makes this easier for me though, because I'm more able to be involved and hands on in his treatment, working alongside the nurses and Respiratory Therapists. Having a task to do that benefits Jayden helps me stay positive and send those good vibes. The nurses are fantastic and showing great concern for me throughout the night, they may be worried about the sheer number of 5-hour Energies and giant Red Bulls I'm consuming. :lol:

We read books all night, listen to peaceful music, and meditate as we used to before Tae Kwon Do. Around 50% of his breathing is on his own now with the other half provided by the respirator. His collaspsed/mucus filled lung is healing through constant massage and deep suction.

I read his MRI report and it scared the fuck out of me last night. I shouldn't read things I don't know anything about, lol. The Dr. says its not that bad, but its clear to me that his lil' brain has been incurred serious trauma. Realistic best case scenario appears to be months of therapy with full recovery. They are going to "install" his back brace today, which he'll be in at least through summer.

Though his pupils are equal and reactive they are still very sluggish, hopefully this is only a side effect of the narcotics. He responds only to pain stimulus, but when he does he lifts both arms, opens his right eye (the other is swollen in an orbital fracture) and bends his legs up. Ironically, his display of pain is one of the best parts of my night....because I can see he's still in there.

He's running a slight fever and pneumonia is of course always a concern, more so with an asthmatic kid who's just getting over a sinus infection. Biological Dad showed up yesterday much to the chagrin of everyone there, eventually including the staff as well. Fuck that guy, that's all I got to say about that.

Me, my wife, my ex and her husband, and my ex's mother are all able to assure that he's never alone bedside. When he wakes up someone he loves is going to be there. I work the night shift from Midnight to 8 or so, and anybody that wants that spot is going to have to taze me. :lol: I'm fortunate in that I get to spend more alone time with him during that time period, and I'm free to read or talk or do whatever with minimal interruption. I'm developing relationships with the staff and getting to know about them and their families. I relish the chance for Jayden to hear normal, worry-free conversation at bedside, and I think the staff realizes that.

Anyway, I guess that's all I really got for now, haven't gotten an update since 8am. Did manage to get a few hours sleep this am, much needed.

I'm glad he's at least stable, and don't ever give up hope. The love of family surrounding him all day is sure to help. God bless you guys.

It is good to hear he is making some progress in the right direction. Continued good wishes it continues. I hope the other little guy is making some progress too.

You guys have all been, and will continue to be getting the majority of my thoughts. I've been where you are and I know it's not easy.

He knows you're there even if he can't tell you. That goes a long long way.

Thanks Bro.

Tonight I found out that he quite literally broke his neck. C3-C6 to be exact. He also has ten compressed vertebrae to go with it. Lil Bro is actually making better than expected progress as his brain swelling continues to go down.

That's good news. :dthumb:

Absolutely !! Good to hear.

Sounds like hes going to be fine (in the long run).

Hopefully the recovery process goes smoothly.

Damn, I hate to hear stories like this. My ex was in a car wreck a couple days ago and was T-boned on my daughter's side of the car. The guy who hit her (that she turned in front of) was traveling about 50 or 60. Seatbelts and side air curtains did their job. I'm so thankful that my daughter was alright, as it could have been much, much worse.

The kid was delivering pizzas and this was his first accident. He called my ex that night and told her he changed lanes from behind some cars (so this may not be entirely her fault). He said it was his first accident and he didn't know what to do. She told him that when the insurance company calls him, to tell them exactly what he'd told her.

Damn bro... hope things take a final turn for the better soon!

good news on the little guy.

I hope bigger little-guy heals up fast too man.

Kane... haven't heard much about this lately...

How's it going? How's the boy?

Jayden is doing great! He was discharged from the hospital on Friday, just shy of being in for a solid month. He just spent the night last night and we had an excellent time. He'll be in the body brace for another couple of months while his neck and back bones heal, but he's handling it like a man.

His brother isn't doing quite as well and was moved from rehab back to ICU 2 days ago as pressures in his head increased. Cat scan results that came out today were positive though, but its going to be sometime yet before any definitive answers come back.

His mother, my ex, is being screwed by her employer (the same ones that fired me for uncovering a massive internal fraud). They are no longer paying her and have washed their hands of the situation. She's been employed there 10 years, and always done her job...and the one time in her life that she really needs them to be there for her they just simply bailed. Its disgusting what they're putting her through right now.

What I've learned from this experience is that paying out your nose for health insurance is a complete waste of money. You'd be much better served by stashing that money away to help if something like this ever does happen. Despite having "good" health insurance and insurance provided by their auto insurance they are in financial disaray...and its only been a month.

But alas, it could've still been worse. Here's a video of us having some fun...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QVyc_kXeEg

Glad to hear that Jayden is doing so well!

I'll keep his brother in my thoughts.

FMLA should cover your ex for a situation like this. Maybe she needs to talk to an attorney.

FMLA covers unpaid leave with benefits, which is what she's getting apparently. Though her benefits are supposed to cover mental distress leave, which a psychiatrist has now signed off on. Its an insurance issue and they're just straight giving her the run around. Every call she makes she has to explain the situation, what the injuries are, and then they say they'll call her back...over and over and over and over and over again. Every fucking day. Its really sickening.

This company that she works for are always talking about taking care of their employees and being like a family and this and that....then when something comes up they're nowhere to be found. I shouldn't be surprised, this is the same populace that put the NAZI party into power after all.

That sucks that she is getting the run-around.

When you said they had washed their hands, I thought you meant she had been fired.

Hopefully she can get the benefits issue resolved. Corporate bureaucracy and insurance companies are not fun to deal with, especially at a time like this.

Have her get a lawyer...I am prepping for the same thing right now. I'm happy for you that Jayden seems to be doing well and have the little guy in our prayers.

Wow that is quite the story. Glad he is doing better. Best wishes for his brother to make a speedy recovery. I agree health care is bullshit.

And yes life is abrupt. That is why we should cherish every second of it. I try to tell Mrs. MP that but she just doesn't get it.

Death is certain, life is not.

Although I haven't posted, I'm watching this. Companies do NOT care. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get an attorney! I am glad both of these kids have such a loving circle of family and extended family even with the ex situation. Kudos to all of you for working as a team for the well being of these babies and good luck with the boys' recoveries!

She got one today actually. I'm not at all involved in that part of it, just watching it unfold from the sidelines.

Correction: Companies DO care - about the bottom line - profit that is, greenbacks. That is all they care about. That is the society / the world we live in and the failed system of profit, greed and corruption.. It never has worked and it never will work..

wait... what?
what does not work, capitalism?
you got a better idea?

Yes; regulated capitalism and good corporate citizenship. People shouldn't have to fight it out with their insurance companies, in cases where they clearly should be ponying up. As with this case, people are generally in a very bad emotional place when they NEED their insurance coverage. That the insurance company employees choose to make things tough for them, at such times, shows that they are somewhat less than human.

Time for a new thread: http://www.twowheelfix.com/showthrea...989#post390989

good call, apologies to josh.

Kane...sounds like a sweet/sour mix of emotions. I sure hope his little brother gets better. I'm glad to hear Jayden is doing well. Hang in there pal, we're still praying for you.

Democracy.

I'm on my phone so didn't read all of the responses. Sorry to hear that man. You guys are in my prayers.

Damn. Not sure how I missed the original part of this thread but I'm happy to hear progress has been made by Jayden. I'm sure his little brother will follow soon. Those two have a strong family to help them through.

Local news just did a pro-seatbelt piece about this wreck last night, here's the link.

http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local-bea...105839443.html

Cool, hows everyone doing?

Great little story there. You only have to be part of one bad accident to understand seatbelts.

I am so very sorry. It is good to hear they are making progress.

It's reading news like this that can make you appreciate your own life and the gifts from it. It sure puts life into perspective.

Glad to see they have made so much progress, especially Greysen.

Thanks for sharing this with us, it's good to know they're doing well. :)