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-   -   S1000RR - funnies (http://www.twowheelfix.com/showthread.php?t=19327)

azoomm 06-02-2011 10:01 AM

S1000RR - funnies
 
As posted on another forum...

:lol:


the s1000rr is so fast that it's the only bike who's lap times are expressed with a negative number

when you do a valve adjustment on a s1000rr, the valves automatically get adjusted on any other bikes in the vicinity

actually, the valves on the s1000rr never go out of spec, the specs get rewritten based on its valve clearance

normal dino oil automatically becomes synthetic when used in an s1000rr. also its becomes fat free and tastes great over a salad.

the 1000 in the s1000rr name actually denotes the bike's trap speed in miles per hour during 1/4 mile runs, i mean 1/8 mile runs

the s1000rr is the only bike that backs it in with the front wheel

the s1000rr doesnt pose at starbucks, starbucks poses next to it

the s1000rr uses an rsv4 as a pitbike

you will never find a printout of a dyno sheet on an s1000rr because they havent made a sheet of paper big enough for it

the s1000rr is the only bike that can indicate a left turn and a right turn at the same time and then follow through

if you put an s1000rr sticker on your toyota, toyota wont recall it because its already awesome

the s1000rr is so awesome it collected jay leno

the s1000rr can not only do a 12 oclock wheelie, but it can do the noon and midnight versions

the BMW s1000r has four modes...rain, awesome, awesomer, and chuck norris

The S1000rr is so rad it will turn your Areosticth into Jeans and tshirt. And vice versa.

the S1000RR is so awesome that Aprilia recalled all RSV4s to put S1000RR engines in them

when an s1000rr does a burnout, it actually spins the earth under its rear wheel and stops the earth's rotation with the front wheel all at the same time!

shmike 06-02-2011 10:27 AM

I still think the BMW's race record is the best joke of all! :read:

tommymac 06-02-2011 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shmike (Post 473653)
I still think the BMW's race record is the best joke of all! :read:

Doh :lol:

Dave 06-02-2011 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shmike (Post 473653)
i still think the bmw's race record is the best joke of all! :read:

qft.

fasternyou929 06-02-2011 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shmike (Post 473653)
I still think the BMW's race record is the best joke of all! :read:

Beat me to it. I was talking to a friend of mine during the last WSBK round about how Haslam did better (much better) on a satellite Honda. Even the announcers were taking digs at how long it has taken BMW to react to known issues; tire management in particular as Corser once again faded from podium position in the second half of the race.

Dave 06-02-2011 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fasternyou929 (Post 473658)
Beat me to it. I was talking to a friend of mine during the last WSBK round about how Haslam did better (much better) on a satellite Honda. Even the announcers were taking digs at how long it has taken BMW to react to known issues; tire management in particular as Corser once again faded from podium position in the second half of the race.

Italian rumor mill is already ablaze claiming both haslam and corser are out at the end of the year and that bmw might try to throw a ton of money at checa

Extremely unlikely of course since carlos is the obvious #1 pick for the returning ducati team and is rumored to get hands on with the short stroke 1200 soon...

fasternyou929 06-02-2011 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dave (Post 473663)
Italian rumor mill is already ablaze claiming both haslam and corser are out at the end of the year and that bmw might try to throw a ton of money at checa

Extremely unlikely of course since carlos is the obvious #1 pick for the returning ducati team and is rumored to get hands on with the short stroke 1200 soon...

Kicking Haslam to the curb in short order, eh? :lol: Can't fault them if they try to pursue Checa, he's riding confident and smart this year, but I can't say I think all BMW's problems are rider-related.

BMW needs a rider that gives detailed development feedback and engineers that will listen to them. I'm not sure they have either piece of that puzzle now?

Dave 06-02-2011 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fasternyou929 (Post 473665)
Kicking Haslam to the curb in short order, eh? :lol: Can't fault them if they try to pursue Checa, he's riding confident and smart this year, but I can't say I think all BMW's problems are rider-related.

BMW needs a rider that gives detailed development feedback and engineers that will listen to them. I'm not sure they have either piece of that puzzle now?

They def don't. You could tell there was an ego problem when they fired tardozzi.

They're prettymuch the new york mets of motorcycle racing

Particle Man 06-02-2011 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dave (Post 473668)

They're prettymuch the new york mets of motorcycle racing

minus the ponzi scheme stuff :lol:

Rider 06-02-2011 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shmike (Post 473653)
I still think the BMW's race record is the best joke of all! :read:

:lol Can't get more accurate than this statement.

smileyman 06-02-2011 02:54 PM

I agree. I dont think Corser and Haslam are laughing at its awesomeness.

I do disagree that Corser and Haslam arent giving them good feedback. Corser is a 2 time champ and was lead development rider that put Aprilia on the board with the RSV. Maybe it is just German engineering stubborness that is getting in the way?

I would hate to see two very good riders sacked just because the factory are busi=y reinventing the wheel.

azoomm 06-02-2011 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smileyman (Post 473737)
I agree. I dont think Corser and Haslam are laughing at its awesomeness.

I do disagree that Corser and Haslam arent giving them good feedback. Corser is a 2 time champ and was lead development rider that put Aprilia on the board with the RSV. Maybe it is just German engineering stubborness that is getting in the way?

I would hate to see two very good riders sacked just because the factory are busi=y reinventing the wheel.

Welcome to BMW. You will win with our bike the way we developed it. Or, you won't win.

You guys and your silly rumors. I'd listen to you if I didn't actually stand in their garage listening to them talk development.

I still think the first post is funny.

fasternyou929 06-02-2011 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smileyman (Post 473737)
I do disagree that Corser and Haslam arent giving them good feedback. Corser is a 2 time champ and was lead development rider that put Aprilia on the board with the RSV. Maybe it is just German engineering stubborness that is getting in the way?

I know Corser is a former World Champ, but that doesn't necessarily make someone a good development rider. I'd use Stoner as an example... he's one of the few riders that could handle the Ducati, but he couldn't give Ducati engineers the precision feedback they needed on the front end/handling to make it better. So you end up with silly mods like wings on the front fender.

I wasn't aware Corser was a key component in the RSV development.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smileyman (Post 473737)
I would hate to see two very good riders sacked just because the factory are busi=y reinventing the wheel.

Couldn't agree more. I had high hopes for Haslam this year, he was fun to watch last season.

smileyman 06-02-2011 05:45 PM

Well I was mistaken. In 2000 when Aprillia came into the series with the RSV1000 they had Corser developing it to good result. In 2001 he was a serious championship contender until he dnf'ed 2 of the last races and lost.

Main point I have to reconsider is he was developing these back in teh day, before electronics and engine management were such an issue, He may be just another great rider with no grasp of how to use the elctronics?

Dave 06-02-2011 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fasternyou929 (Post 473760)
I know Corser is a former World Champ, but that doesn't necessarily make someone a good development rider. I'd use Stoner as an example... he's one of the few riders that could handle the Ducati, but he couldn't give Ducati engineers the precision feedback they needed on the front end/handling to make it better. So you end up with silly mods like wings on the front fender.

I wasn't aware Corser was a key component in the RSV development.


Couldn't agree more. I had high hopes for Haslam this year, he was fun to watch last season.

Troy was well regarded as a dev rider prior to the bmw gig. I don't believe casey is as bad as the myth suggests, remember ducati also has the reputation of not listening to shit

fasternyou929 06-02-2011 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dave (Post 473774)
Troy was well regarded as a dev rider prior to the bmw gig. I don't believe casey is as bad as the myth suggests, remember ducati also has the reputation of not listening to shit

Definitely. It'll be interesting to see if they're more receptive to Rossi's feedback. Or if Rossi can give them feedback that allows them to improve without carbon copying Japanese design - what I really think drives their resistance to change.

goof2 06-02-2011 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Particle Man (Post 473717)
minus the ponzi scheme stuff :lol:

You obviously haven't seen their new financing deal.

http://www.twowheelfix.com/showthread.php?t=19011

Mikey 06-03-2011 01:31 AM

1 Attachment(s)
Quote:

Originally Posted by azoomm (Post 473753)
Welcome to BMW. You will win with our bike the way we developed it. Or, you won't win.

You guys and your silly rumors. I'd listen to you if I didn't actually stand in their garage listening to them talk development.

I still think the first post is funny.

Reminds me of this:

pauldun170 06-03-2011 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikey (Post 473857)
Reminds me of this:

:lol

azoomm 06-03-2011 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikey (Post 473857)
Reminds me of this:

That's tremendous :lol:

Particle Man 06-03-2011 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikey (Post 473857)
Reminds me of this:

Pure awesome :lmao:


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