I just get annoyed at the inconsistency from one trip to the next. Last time it was "take your phone out of your bag" when the time before that (just a few days prior) I was told to put it in my carry-on bag. Make up your freakin' mind people, don't make me guess.
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I'm not "fat."
I'm "Enlarged to show texture."
Handle every stressful situation like a DOG: If you can't eat it or hump it, pi$$ on it & walk away.
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