Shark Review!!!

PiZdETS · 09-20-2008, 11:04 PM

Shark Review!!!

I went for a 100 miles today wearing a great white shark strapped to my back today and I must say that it is very mean,heavy and viscious. I've owned all of the major species of sharks and the teeth mechanism is the sharpest hands down! Even a mako's can't compete! Because it has two sets of teeth when it bites you your arm pops off on it's own. The load also causes the flesh to "suck in" when the jaws are closed for an almost perfect seal, ripping your arm directly out of socket. Hydrodynamics are outstanding! At 150 mph,I could turn my head any direction I chose and it would attempt to decapitate me and swallow my skull. The coolest aero-trait was it didn't matter what angle it's fins were at,the shark still felt "heavy as fuck."

The negatives are as follows; smell could be better (but intimidating effect would suffer) and there are NO provisions for being out of water which made having to stop to pour bottled water on it every 10 miles or so a fucking pain! A weird complaint I have is the placement of the eyes . They're always looking right at my Adam's apple and they haunt my dreams.

Exterior color and interior flesh is what you would expect from a king of the ocean. Excellent! I anticipate the arrival of my blood transfusions and prosthetic limbs on thursday!

09-20-2008, 11:04 PM	#7
PiZdETS ⎷⎛⎝ ⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠ ⎷⎛⎝ Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: ⎷⎛⎝ ⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠ ⎷⎛⎝ Moto: ⎷⎛⎝ ⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠ ⎷⎛⎝ Posts: 990	Shark Review!!! Shark Review!!! I went for a 100 miles today wearing a great white shark strapped to my back today and I must say that it is very mean,heavy and viscious. I've owned all of the major species of sharks and the teeth mechanism is the sharpest hands down! Even a mako's can't compete! Because it has two sets of teeth when it bites you your arm pops off on it's own. The load also causes the flesh to "suck in" when the jaws are closed for an almost perfect seal, ripping your arm directly out of socket. Hydrodynamics are outstanding! At 150 mph,I could turn my head any direction I chose and it would attempt to decapitate me and swallow my skull. The coolest aero-trait was it didn't matter what angle it's fins were at,the shark still felt "heavy as fuck." The negatives are as follows; smell could be better (but intimidating effect would suffer) and there are NO provisions for being out of water which made having to stop to pour bottled water on it every 10 miles or so a fucking pain! A weird complaint I have is the placement of the eyes . They're always looking right at my Adam's apple and they haunt my dreams. Exterior color and interior flesh is what you would expect from a king of the ocean. Excellent! I anticipate the arrival of my blood transfusions and prosthetic limbs on thursday! __________________